Living with…a personal look

16433873753_6abd9ab790_zSunday musings…

Almost a year ago I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer.

As a survivor and living the past year through numerous doctor’s appointments, chemo sessions, surgery and radiation – I found that part of the process of changes was getting used to finding the beauty within myself, rather than the physical attributes.

Cancer does a number on you. It’s turmoil of physicality and emotional angst can cause a person to question their beauty, their sexuality and overall view on life. As human’s, we take pride in our attributes. We love our hair, our bodies, the stunning smiles. Some of us take it as far as decorating our bodies with tattoos and piercings, emphasising our skin or dying our hair to stand out.

But cancer strips you. It pulls you down and makes everything blank. I knew when I began chemo I would lose my hair. So I prepared. I bought scarves, I cut my hair short so the overall feeling wouldn’t be so harsh. When the first bit of strands started to come out, I was sick to my stomach. Then the hair came out in clumps, Within a week after my second session of chemo, I had lost all the hair on my head (and other places).

I felt like a freak. I was bald, I had scars on my chest from where my port was and I had a tumor sitting in my chest. I was ugly. When they switched my chemo drugs, the ugliness continued. I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. I lost the hair on my arms, my legs… People say “Oh! It will grow back!” but it was tramuatizing. We are so inclined to make ourselves beautiful that when we are stripped from our assets, we are lost.

I felt utterly lost in my own world.

During one of my chemo sessions, one of the volunteers brought in knitted stocking caps for my head. They were to keep my head warm at night while I slept. She told me that volunteers would make them for the kids at St Judes Children’s Hospital and for the patients at Boston Baskin Cancer Center (mine). She also brought in magazines to look at for wigs. I didn’t want a wig. I felt that if I couldn’t have my own hair, then I would just wear scarves instead. But eventually I broke down and purchased one.

I can honestly say that it made me feel like a different person, but the wig wasn’t for me. I wore it a few times and eventually left it in the box, instead wearing scarves to suit my needs. The one thing though, is that wigs do HELP. They do help make a person feel better about themselves when there is a loss. It was like playing dress up. I could have super long hair or fun funky short hair. (I chose a simple red bob – how boring.) But one thing about wigs – they’re hella expensive. Add that to the ongoing list of medications, appointments and other things one needs to get during treatment, it adds up.

So why am I talking about this now? Hair Fair 2015 begins in a few days. This is the 10th Annual Hair Fair in Second Life in which proceeds from Hair Fair’s vendors and donations will go to Wigs for Kids – a non-profit organization that helps kids with cancer get – wigs!

As I am one to spend most of my lindens on hair in Second Life, I highly encourage you to check out the Fair once it opens and donate. Even if it’s just 100L (or loads more!). Making a child feel beautiful should put any smile on anyone’s face.

For credits and landmarks, see below ❤

Living WithBody: -Belleza- Venus V3 – Freya / Tricky Boucher *NEW*
Skin: Glam Affair – Belleza Appliers in American / Aida Ewing
Head: [LeLutka] Mesh Head – Stella / JadenArt
Collar: Cae :: Kept / Caelan Hancroft *ROMP*
Pose: Del May / Del May

2 thoughts on “Living with…a personal look

  1. Katya, this is such a powerful, emotional post. I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through! My thoughts are with you, and thank you so much for sharing your story. ♥

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